5 More Delusions That Can Block a Writer's Success

We've all met newbie writers who say stuff like: "Why should I have to study writing? I read all the time and I edit our One Direction fan club newsletter. I'm a great speller. So I can write a novel, no prob."

They don't understand that writing narrative is an intricate, specialized craft that needs to be learned though lots of study, trial and error. Very few people can "just write" and produce a readable manuscript without feedback.

Don't be embarrassed if you recognize yourself here. I had this delusion, big time. I worked on a novel for years without showing a word to anybody. I thought I should finish it first, so I just kept going. I knew I could write fiction because I spent all my spare time reading it.

What I didn't realize is that simply reading a lot of novels doesn't teach you to write them any more than eating a lot of sandwiches teaches you to bake bread.

I didn't expect to be able to crochet a scarf or play the piano without some kind of instruction. So why did I think I could write a novel in a total vacuum?

At least I wised up after a few years. Some people spend decades flailing around writing badly rather than pay a few bucks for a workshop or a book on plotting or structure or joining a critique group.

Then there are the newbie writers who think they can hire an editor to magically turn a bunch of random pages into a coherent novel. Anybody who's worked as a freelance editor has had to deal with a few of these. It's amazing when you see the horror on their faces when it dawns on them that learning to write a novel or memoir involves more than just spilling your thoughts on a page.

Reality Check: Take a writing class or workshop and buy a few books on writing. Nathan Bransford has a good one called How to Write a Novel for only $4.99 and James Scott Bell's popular SuperStructure is only $2.99. Or try Dr. John Yeoman's How Did the Author Do That, also $4.99, which takes a novel and analyzes how all the parts work. (It's a fun novel to read, too!)  Or try classics like Save the Cat by Blake Snyder or How to Write a Damn Good Novel by James N. Frey.

8) Living in the Last Millennium

Some writers' minds are so filled with images of Jacqueline Susann-style book-signing tours that they don't learn to do the things that successful authors do in the Internet age.

I know writers who treat online marketing as a fad to be ignored, so every year they launch a new paper book with a signing party at a local bookstore, announced by an ad in the hometown newspaper, or postcards sent to a local mailing list.

The same ten people come. Every year. Ten people who would have bought the book anyway. Nobody else has heard of these authors, because they don't have websites and consider themselves "above" social media.

You Google them and nothing comes up but the picture from the local paper when they helped raise money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

If they're with a traditional small or midsized press, they may have an ebook, but they don't know how to get online reviews or set up an Amazon author page, so their ebook ranks at about #7,891,000 in the Kindle store.

Or they self-publish with a vanity press and put tons of money into a hardcover novel that nobody can afford, "because that's how you get reviewed." (That was true 20 years ago. Not so now.)

Reality Check: Join the 21st century. It may seem scary, but if I can do it, anybody can. Take baby steps. Get a friend or relative to help you set up a simple website, fill out your Amazon author page and start commenting on blogs.

You've made a start by reading this. Frances Caballo, Molly Greene, Chris Syme, and Kristen Lamb also give top-notch info on how to use social media on their blogs. Pick up Chis Syme's Smart Social Media For Authors, Molly's Blog it!, Kristen Lamb's Rise of the Machines or, um, How to be a Writer in the E-Age by yours truly and Amazon #1 author Catherine Ryan Hyde.

9) Insisting that Literature "Shouldn't" be a Business

I meet a lot of writers who seem to think the writing life is a perpetual high school English class where there are gold stars for everybody. They are offended when publishers and agents are "mercenary" or "only out for money" or won't work with them just because they're belligerent and unpleasant. ("What about free speech?!")

Newsflash: people don't run businesses in order to lose money. Not everybody can live off the Bank of Dad forever.

And the right to "free speech" says you won't be arrested for saying nasty things in public (unless of course it can be proved to be libelous.) What it doesn't say there will be absolutely no consequences for saying those things.

A business partnership is like a marriage. The parties have to be compatible. Nobody has a "right" to an agent or publisher anymore than anybody has a "right" to a spouse.

Do note: I don't want to put down people with private incomes who prefer to write as amateurs. Some of our greatest writers and poets did not write for money (Emily Dickinson comes to mind). Writing can be a fantastic, fulfilling hobby.

But if you want to make a living as a writer, you have to learn how the business works. And act like a grown-up.

You wouldn't try to open a restaurant if you'd never worked in one, but most new writers are as naive as I was about learning about the business they're trying to enter.

Reality check: Give up the magical fairy god-agent fantasy. If you want to go the agent route, read the archives of Jane Friedman's blog, or Nathan Bransford's, subscribe to (free) Publisher's Lunch and follow a few agents on Twitter. BookEnds Literary Agency has revived their blog recently, and Janet Reid still dispenses great information on her blog.

If you'd rather work with a small press, check out Poets and Writers or Authors Publish Magazine, which has a FREE newsletter that lists small presses that don't require agents.

Or pick up a solid book on self-publishing like Jessica Bell's Self-Publish Your Book and go indie. Lots of very successful writers have.

10) Not Reading (especially in your genre)

This is a biggie. I'm amazed at people who claim to want to be writers, but when you ask them what they're reading they go totally blank.

Or they’ll mention a bestseller of a decade ago as the last book they read. Or they say they read nothing but classics—which you strongly suspect they haven't read since college. Or they say they don't read because "there's nothing good out there."

It's awfully hard to write a novel today's readers are going to like if you haven't read anything published since On the Road. And it's impossible to write something contemporary Romance/Mystery/Thriller readers will enjoy if you don't read (and love) those genres.

Stephen King said, "Read, read, read. If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write."

Reality Check: Make time for reading every day. Especially new books in your genre. Consider it part of your writing routine. If you'd rather watch "Dancing with the Stars" or play a videogame, ask yourself why you want to be a writer. Are you following some delusion? Or your Mom's? Would you rather be designing videogames or fabulous dance costumes?

Guess what? There's nothing wrong with that.

And it probably pays better.

Writing is the most wonderful profession in the world if it's what you love. But there are no shortcuts and the pay is pretty lousy for all but a handful of superstars. If you'd rather be doing something else, let go of the delusions.

Life's too short to be doing something you don't love. Follow your bliss, wherever it takes you.


What about you, scriveners? Can you think of any more delusions we should warn people about? What delusions held you back when you were starting out? 

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